“So much catches me by surprise these days, I often wish that I had some sense of what was coming. Is there a way to become more intuitive?”

Time and again people have taken sides against each other for any number of reasons. Disagreeing seems to be a natural – and therefore fairly common – aspect of human behavior. Thankfully, most disagreements can be settled with a little logic or reason, perhaps some legal intervention, and hopefully a healthy dose of kindness.

Recently, I’ve had several questions as to why people seem to disagree about almost everything under the sun these days. Whether we’re talking about something as simple as weather preferences or as serious as politics, there does seem to be a distinct inability to agree on things lately. As one woman put it: “It seems like everyone doesn’t agree with me on everything. Why can’t we all just get along?”

It’s been almost a year since we were told it might be wise to avoid crowds. Last March, I posted a blog about how each of us (based on out elemental personalities) might handle isolation. Someone suggested re-posting it to remind us of ways we might help manage the continued isolation we are experiencing.

“With all that’s been going on in the U.S. I often find myself at a loss for words when talking with people. Part of me would just like to float away to an island and be by myself, yet when friends express ideas that I don’t agree with, I want to share my thoughts but just can’t seem to find the right words. Any suggestions?”

Power has been a hot topic in our world lately. Who has it? Who abuses it? Can it transfer? Does it go away? Is it good? Is it bad? And really, what does it mean? A quick answer to that last question can be found in Webster’s dictionary.

For years, this blog has used the Five Elements model from Chinese medicine to discuss the five basic elemental personalities. We've covered issues like strengths and weaknesses of each, as well as understanding how they relate to each other. At times, we’ve even dipped into how they relate to themselves. One issue we've never covered is what happens to an elemental personality when some form of mental illness is present. Recent events suggest this might be a good time to cover this topic, especially as it relates to the primary Wood personality.

Thank you so much for your enthusiastic support of this blog. I deeply appreciate your letters and comments, as well as the opportunity to explore with you the wisdom embodied in the Five Elements model. This deceptively simple model provides a window into the workings of the universe and helps us better understand ourselves, the people in our lives, and our relationships. As we say a ready goodbye to 2020, I once again offer you The Five Elements Blessing.

The Five Elements model depicts a whole made up of five distinctive parts: Water, Wood, Fire, Earth, and Metal. We usually focus on the unique attributes of each part and how they interact with each other. Water feeds Wood, Wood controls Earth, Earth feeds Metal, Fire melts Metal, etc. During this holiday season, I would like to remind us that at its core, the Five Elements model really illuminates how five unique parts contribute to the balance and survival of the whole. And that means any whole.

“The Winter Solstice is approaching and that means the start of winter. I hate it! The dark and cold always make me very unhappy. My sister loves December, the darker and colder, the better for her. How can we be so different when we’re just one year apart? Could this have something to do with our elemental personalities?”

“This is supposed to be such a joyful time of year, but try as I might, I always end up sad and depressed around the holidays. And of course, with Covid this year, it’s even worse. ... I act like all the fuss is a colossal waste of time, but in all honesty, a small part of me wishes I wasn’t so automatically dismissive. I don’t expect to be joyful, but it would be great not to be so down.”

“With Covid-19 lately I’ve been a real Scrooge! I criticize everything my husband suggests (I know he’s just trying to help, but his ideas aren’t that great). What can I do to be less critical of him (and actually, less critical in general)?”

“I live in a state experiencing high Covid-19 numbers and we’ve all been told we should cancel Thanksgiving, and maybe even Christmas. ... I’m so depressed; we probably won’t have anything at like the normal holiday season I look forward to every year. Even my husband, who often complains about all he has to accomplish as part of ‘doing the holidays’ seems a bit frustrated by the changes. Do you have any suggestions on how to cope with all this?”

“Thanksgiving is coming and because of Covid, I’ve decided it’s best if I don’t travel home to be with my elderly parents this year. It’s the right thing to do, but my heart literally aches over this. Is there anything that will help?”

Four years ago, I posted a blog following what seemed to be a particularly contentious and divisive election in 2016 America. Sadly, it appears that little has changed in America over the past four years and the election held here earlier this week is on its way to becoming even more divisive than the previous one. In my 2016 post, I explored the role the Five Elements played in that election with the hope that a greater understanding of the dynamics at play would help heal the country. That remains the impetus and hope behind re-sharing that (annotated) 2016 post today.

“I don’t think of myself as a cowardly person, but I’ve felt afraid of a lot of things lately. Some of it could be justified, but mostly I feel like I’m just being silly. What can I do to manage my fear?”

“I’ve always had a tendency to get headaches when stressed. Not surprisingly, I’m pretty stressed these days so am having more headaches. I’ve even found myself rather short-tempered when things take too long to happen or don’t turn out the way I want them to. Any tips on managing the headaches?”

“As winter approaches, I’ve started worrying more. Will we be able to have the traditional holiday celebrations? How will we connect with people if socializing outside isn’t an option? Will the people I care about stay well? And will this ever end? Is there anything that can help me stop worrying so much?”

“During the pandemic, many of my friends are socializing day and night on Zoom, and sometimes even in person, but I just don’t feel like it, even though I know it would be good for me. How can I convince myself to be more social?”

“Cal and I met when we were in law school. He was smart, funny, and very outgoing. I was more serious but somehow, we clicked. We married right out of law school and life was fast-paced and passionate.... Two years ago, things changed. He worked longer hours, played harder, and has been around less and less. And when he is home, we fight and there’s no passion left. I finally confronted him last month and he admitted that there’s someone else who, as he puts it, is more fun than I am. I still love him and want Alma to have a full-time father.”